Life Is Precious.
Even in the mess
If you’re anything like me you know that this gift of life is wonderful and messy and sometimes awful and difficult, yet oh, so very precious.
I value authenticity greatly and believe that our journey is not ours alone, but in fact is meant to encourage others along the way.
My life has been filled with love and joy, heartache and grief, and hope. It’s my great desire that the lessons I’ve learned can be helpful to you. I trust that God can, and will, bring beauty from the ashes of our lives and will double the joys we share.
let me share a bit about myself
So, friend
First and foremost, I am a daughter of the Most High God.
He tells me who I am and gives me my value.
But it wasn’t always this way....
Before I met Jesus my life ached for meaning…
I was raised in a religious environment and believed in God but thought Him far off and busy. As a teen I wanted to be closer to God and know Him more, but the questions I presented were considered "doubting the faith" so I was left on my own to see for answers.
I read all kinds of crazy stuff and even believed some of it. Combine that with past abuse and low self-esteem, and depression set in. The enemy waged a full attack to prevent me from getting to know the LORD better. Wave after wave until at 25 years old he had me convinced I wasn’t worthy of living anymore. That my beautiful family would be better off without me.
But God.
(My two favorite words in all of Scripture!)
He met me where I was, addicted to pain meds after a bad car accident that left me unable to care properly for my girls.
In the middle of the night with a shoebox full of pills, in a pain unexplainable (emotional and spiritual, which I did not yet understand can be more excruciating than the physical) He saved me from myself, He saved me from the enemy! I flushed every pill that night in faith that He would get me through without them. Though the pain didn’t diminish, He made it bearable. But the depression still had a hold on me.
Walking Through the “Not Yet”
Let’s be real though, life wasn’t all sunshine and roses afterward. Being in constant pain impacts you and if you are not rooted in Christ, you begin to believe this is who you are and you write off things like impatience and short temper to “this is just who I am” and my family was left to deal with it.
Though I no longer wanted to end my life, I really didn’t like who I was and no matter how hard I tried, I failed at being better.
One "Yes" That Changed My Life
Fast forward to age 36… My sister called and invited me to a new church she’d found. I almost backed out, but then I thought about all I’d done to try to get closer to God and none of it worked, so I really had nothing to lose.
When they began to sing songs that reflected the state of my heart, I burst into tears. As the pastor spoke, it was if he was speaking only to me. I’d found home. At the end of the service, I prayed the sinner’s prayer.
When Freedom Became Real
Then, one Sunday a few months later… there, in black and white, was the statement that had haunted me almost all of my life, “What on Earth are We Here For?”
I can’t even tell you what Pastor Jeremy spoke about… but what I do know is that I encountered the Living God. That day I gave every ounce of myself to Jesus… and I finally understood that “salvation” isn’t just for a heavenly home one day at the end of my life, but that we are in the midst of eternity and our lives here can be different if we surrender to Jesus. I also felt for the first time what it was to be free from the weight of all my sin. A short while later I released the unforgiveness that held me bound and I was set free from depression. Oh, oh… Freedom is sweet!
Miracles in the Midst of Crisis
In 2007 my husband fell from a tall ladder, suffering a Traumatic Brain Injury. The speech center of his brain had been obliterated and he wasn’t expected to live. But God! He not only lived, he spoke! The greatest lesson I learned through it all? Never, ever, ever give up. Believe the promises of God and remind yourself of them constantly.
But God, Again!
When the Waves Crashed Again
Then, the unexpected shattered my world … Our son, our beloved Matt, was in a horrible car accident that took the lives of both he and his best friend. My heart was shattered in ways I couldn't even fathom as possible. To lose a child is a bitter thing, something you just don’t “get over.”
Time, dear friends, in fact, does not heal wounds of the heart. But God does!
God has not only carried me through, He healed my heart, taught me to grieve well and given me victory so that death will not rob me of another precious moment of this amazing gift of life. He inspired me to share my story with you to help in your own journey and to encounter the great, healing, love He has for you.
Beauty from ashes
Living Fully, Loving Deeply
Today my husband Dave and I live a full and happy life in Southern California near our remarkable daughters and their wonderful families. God has been so gracious to give us sons-in-love who are truly sons-of-my-heart. And being a Gigi to four amazing, godly young people is one of my greatest joys!!
Life is nowhere near perfect, But God…
A book is being poured…
You'll be the first to know, friend.
Look out for a book announcement soon!
